Today Himig decided to not sleep unless I carry her. I ate and tidied up a little with her in my arms. I managed to have a quick 10 min shower after which she thought was not complete unless I have puke all over. So that's what she did.
My whole day was spent soothing her, feeding her and changing her.
And then she suddenly grabbed my finger and smiled, somewhat thanking me for everything.
Disclaimer: A long storytelling post will follow :p
After almost 10 months of anticipation, all the waiting ended on that faithful Sunday when everything seems to fade away and all I can see is my precious darling, the one who knows my heart better than anyone else.
We excitedly waited for almost 2 weeks since my 36 week follow up. Upon checking, My fundic height (the size of my tummy) didn't grow from 33 weeks onwards. Dra. Menie then asked us to have another ultrasound just to check the baby's growth. Upon seeing the results, Himig was less than ten percent of her expected weight and my placenta is already grade 3 (too old for a 36-week). We were asked to come back again after 2 days for a non stress test only to find out that I'm already contracting and was 1-2cms dilated. Anticipation kicked in since my doctor predicted that she might be out in a few days. But then, I stopped dilating. Days and days of follow up revealed that my cervix was still too thick and narrow for the baby to come out. Anticipation changed to frustration as we spent thousands on lab tests just to make sure she's still alright inside. I felt guilty having been binging on my food intake just to make sure that I'm within the range of the accepted weight gain. We were very happy to know that she gained a few ounces after a week.
I lowered down my expectation that she'll come sooner than what we expected. I continued to do my daily routine just to take my mind out feeling the contractions and waiting. I cleaned the house, re-arrange her closet and tidied up her crib for the nth time.
Come Valentines Day, Jhopet and I had our short but sweet Valentines Day lunch at Shine Bakery and Cafe at SM Aura. After our lunch, I finally felt contractions that made me uncomfortable. I waited for it to be consistent enough before I texted Dra. Reyes. She then replied that we already proceed to the hospital.
Time Check: 1:10 am Saturday Feb 15- The Doctors hooked me up on the machine again. I had consistent contractions that felt like waves increasing from my tummy to my back. However I was just 3 cms dilated and my water didn't break yet so I was asked to walk around the hospital and come back at around 5am.
5am-Contractions lessened and I was still 3cms dilated. We were asked to just eat breakfast and come back after for reassessment. We decided to rest first and come back when contractions are really unbearable
11:30am- Dra Reyes checked me again and decided to admit me already for IV doses of oxytocin (to induced contractions) and buscopan (to ripen my cervix). I was put in the HRPU of St. Lukes Medical Center Quezon City so that Jhopet can wait with me.
7pm-With few doses of oxytocin, I started to feel really painful contractions. It felt like my bones were breaking and that a big mass was blocking my lower abdomen. I already asked for an epidural but the Drs. said I need to be 6cms dilated for the epidural to be effective. They lowered down the dosage of the oxytocin to lessen the pain and I was given liquid diet for dinner.
4am of February 16- Finally, I was 6 cm dilated and was put into epidural anesthesia. I fell asleep right after and didn't feel any pain even though they already tripled the dosage of oxytocin.
5:30am- My bag of water finally broke and was 8cms dilated! And so I thought that it's gonna be soon!
12:30pm- I was still 8cms dilated but fully effaced. 2 more cms and I'm gonna be ready for labor.
2:00pm- Still on 8cms. Dra Reyes checked me again and found out that Himig's head is already "Caput" ( getting longer and taking the shape of the canal) since she was really trying to come out amidst the small opening. She asked us if we wanted to do a Ceasarian delivery already taking into consideration Himig's safety. I was so tired already. I figured out that this will be the best option.
2:45pm- After a heartfelt prayer lead by Dra. Reyes, I was wheeled to the operating room. Jhopet was with me the whole time. Because I witnessed quiet a few minor operations performed in our clinic, I was a little bit nervous as I pictured my tummy being sliced. But then after just a few minutes at 3:20pm, I heard a small squeak and then there she was- small, "balbon", white, chinky-eyed and so beautiful.
with Dra Menie Reyes
She was put in my chest and suddenly, all my fears faded away. Unexplainable feeling flooded my heart. more than happiness, more than excitement. My lifetime dream of becoming a mom, of having my own angel, is finally happening.
Hi there beautiful :)
Our first family picture
As we are both wheeled in towards our room where our whole family was waiting, I cant help but smile and feel all the more blessed for I am given a chance to be a "nanay" to this little one.
And so just like that, I am already 2 cm dilated and having tolerable contractions. Wow, just thinking about it can make me feel all giddy inside. Finally we'll be able to see Himig: two eyes, one cute nose, two ears, ten fingers, ten toes and lots of love. 9 whole months of preparation feels not just enough. Although I tried to be as prepared as possible (read through numerous books, have my journal ready, attended seminars and so on), there are still days that I still felt guilty and unprepared, specially when I forgot to drink vitamins or drank a cup coffee.
But then again, in between those days, I know that more than Jhopet and I, a big God loves Himig so much and wouldnt allow anything bad to happened.
Last Saturday we had a routine OB checkup and found out that Himig is smaller compared to her expected weight. We also found out that my placenta is already matured and that this might be the reason why she's not getting nutrients. Everything else is Ok though. So just to make sure, we were asked to return on Tuesday for a stress test that might trigger contractions.
oh the torture of waiting and paranoia strucked me. 2 days might be too long for her if she's not getting enough nutrients. I started to remind myself that my doctor knows better and that she'll not advise me to come back at a later time if anything bad will happened to my baby.
So to take my mind of things, I started to prepare for her stuff, both for the hospital and here at home. Thus
the tons of picture that follow. :p
Her baby bag and my hospital bag with all the mini organizers inside.
The effect of missing school: DIYed
her closet labels and toiletry cadies
The top of her dresser with my favorite children's book that we'll read together soon. :) Also displayed the paper mache letters and place cards from the baby shower
She's gonna stay in our room so I call this her corner. :) Revamped the walls with a few decals and replaced some of our pictures with her ultrasound scans. I also added the frame that I used to write reasons why I love J and a heart shape chalkboard from one of those mommy bazaars I attended. Her "corner" is a mixed of brown, white, pink and purple: more of like a tree in a forest/bird theme.
Posted her corner's picture on facebook and quiet a few reacted that they expected it to be lots of pink. haha I have a pink version of her beddings but decided to start with the purple one (for a change naman!)
But everytime I open her closet and see this:
a smile spreads on my face. oh the joy of seeing pink :p
I really cant wait for you to see all these Himig. Please be ok inside nanay's tummy. Please pray for nanay too, that I may be able to have the strength and tolerance to deliver you.
All in His time. All under His graces and blessings.